Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch about your friend. I can hear that you are feeling really hurt that she hasn’t replied to your emails recently.

It sounds like not hearing from her has made you really question yourself, and feel like she doesn’t care about you. There may be a number of other reasons that she cannot contact you. When people move away to a different area they have a lot of things to get used to, like a new school for instance. This will then include meeting new people and before long they are forgetting to answer emails as they are so busy. If you have a phone number you could try and ring her or maybe send her a casual text message asking how she is.

You talk about really missing her because she was a big part of your life, but it sounds as though you were a big part of hers too. It might be that she starts writing back to you a bit more once she’s more settled. Sadly it might also be that your friendship has changed too much now that she has moved away, and that the two of you are drifting apart.

Relationships do change, because people change over time, and that’s nobody’s fault. You may never know the reasons your friend hasn’t replied to you but you do know what made your friendship special. If the two of you do end up being less close now, that doesn’t alter the fact that you had a really great bond when you were together. I can hear how much you enjoyed your friendship with her and it sounds like you’ve really learned a lot from it.

You could take what you’ve learned from her to help you to develop new friendships. You’ve already been able to make one amazing friend and that makes me think that you will find other great friends again in the future.

If you would like to talk to someone about how you feel, you could call a ChildLine counsellor on 0800 1111 have a 1-2-1 chat or send an email. You have made a really good first step by telling me how you feel.

Take care,

Sam