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To Sam

Fighting with anger

At home and at break times in school I sometimes fight and get annoyed but I can't control what I am doing. My sister says I should calm down and tell my friends but I am too scared that I will get bullied or laughed at. I keep on getting really mad and some boys in my class tease me for it. What should I do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s natural to get annoyed sometimes. If it feels like your anger is out of your control, it can be hard to understand why and deal with this. Sometimes, it might seem hard to believe but you can gain control of all your emotions and how they affect you. For many people it’s about finding a distraction or a new way of coping that works best for them.

It's possible to learn to manage feelings of anger. I would suggest having a look at the message boards where other young people share what has been going on for them and ways they have found to cope.

It might be a good idea to ask for some support. Being angry can affect different parts of your life, like school and relationships with your friends and family. It can often have a negative impact on important parts of your life and leave you feeling desperate and unsure about what to do.

It can also be a good idea to try talking to someone you trust about these feelings and the things you are planning to try to regain control. That way you will have some support around you as you try to make this change.

It’s not ok for anyone to tease you, that’s a type of bullying which is wrong and it is not your fault. Your school have a duty to protect you from being bullied, and you have a right to feel happy and safe at school. You could think about talking to a teacher you trust about being teased. They might be able to support you. Our counsellors are always here for you if you would like to talk more about anger, bullying or anything else that’s on your mind.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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