Hi there,
Respite foster care is where you stay with someone who isn’t your usual carer for a short period of time. It could just be for a few days, or a few weeks. It’s usually only temporary, while your full-time carer or parent isn’t able to look after you. Not all young people living in care will go to respite care and it depends on your individual situation.
You might stay with the same respite carers every time, or you might get different ones. Either way, your respite carers will work with your full-time carers to be as prepared as possible for your stay. Everyone should be clear about when you’ll return to your usual home, and that the time you’re spending away is only for a while.
Sometimes you might not want to go back to your usual home after staying somewhere else. Being somewhere different can feel like a holiday. Sometimes having a new routine in a new place can make it seem like everything’s positive and easy going. It can feel very different to your life at home where you might be having disagreements about things like house rules or different opinions.
Sometimes foster placements don’t work out, for all kinds of reasons. There are some issues that aren’t okay – like abuse or neglect. If you’re being hurt by your foster parents then it’s really important to tell someone about it.
It’s important to remember that nowhere is perfect. No matter who you live with, there’ll always be problems from time to time. Depending on what those problems are, it’s often better to try and fix the issues, instead of starting all over again somewhere new. Even your respite carers might feel different if you lived there full time.
It’s important to talk to your social worker if you’re in care and you aren’t happy where you live. You can tell them what’s making you feel unhappy. They’ll try and work with you to make things better at home and do what’s best for you.
If you don’t feel like your social worker is listening, you can also get advice and support from someone called an advocate. This is an adult who will speak on your behalf if you’re not happy with the support you’re getting. You should be able to ask for an advocate from someone like NYAS.
Remember, our counsellors are here to help, and there’s always help and advice from other young people on our message boards.
Thanks for writing to me.
Take care,
Sam
