Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I've never thought about my weight before secondary school because i suppose when i was younger it didnt matter. Now im in y9 and yeah its the thing that matters most to me. I've always been naturally quite skinny and people at school are always telling me that my figure is amazing etc. i never really know what to say. And then recently stuff started getting weird. People have been telling me im anorexic and i need help and its disgusting etc. it has left me in peices. My friends have told me not to listen but actually its pretty hard not to. I dont watch what i eat, but i have been told im underweight before but thats not my fault. People are not listening to me i am simply not anorexic. I just want them to stop. I dont know what it is recently but even members of my family have been telling me i look really thin. Its not super serious but i just need some advice as to what i say back to this sort of thing. thanks
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message.

You’ve done the right thing by looking for advice on what’s going on in your life right now. I can hear that other people’s opinions are starting to have a negative effect on how you think and feel about your weight. It sounds like their comments are causing you to focus on your weight and appearance, when you didn’t feel it was even an issue for you before. You have said that these comments have left you ‘in pieces’ and that’s understandable as it’s never nice to hear hurtful comments about yourself.

You mentioned that you’ve been told before that you are underweight and you’re right that that isn’t something you should be getting hassled about. You didn’t say whether it was a medical professional who told you you’re underweight. It’s possible to be thin but still healthy, but sometimes being slim can also cause some problems with your health. It’s important to get the right advice for you. Perhaps you could think about speaking to a GP or school nurse. They should be able to reassure you about whether you’re a healthy weight and whether you need to make any changes.

From what you’ve said, the comments people are making could be considered bullying. It’s not OK that people are doing this – it shouldn’t be happening. Your school has a responsibility to ensure that bullying doesn’t happen. Perhaps you could think about speaking to a teacher or another staff member in your school for support and advice?

It’s important that you get the chance to talk about how you are feeling right now. Sometimes feeling worried or stressed can impact not only on how we feel but it can also impact on us physically. Some people react to stress by losing weight so it’s important to ensure that this situation doesn’t leave a physical affect on you. Maybe you could think about speaking to a family member or even a friend’s mum. You don’t have to bottle this up and there are people who will want to support you, including Childline.

There is more information about bullying and staying healthy in Explore. You may also get some useful advice on Childline’s message boards where other young people share their stories.

If you would like to talk some more about how you feel, you’re welcome to send an email, talk to a counsellor in 1-2-1 or call the helpline on 0800 1111.

I hope this helps.

Take care,


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