Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Dear Sam,
For as long as I can remember I have been angry. 6 years ago I was in anger management for a year, this ultimately had no/ little effect. For the past 5 years I have been cutting and recently they've ben getting deeper. People are becoming increasingly observent and continually make comments about the state of my arms/ hands.
My anger has been causing many problems at school and at ATC. Within the last month I have recieved over 15 form B (my school's second tier in the disiplinary system). My family cannot understand why I get into trouble as by no means am I struggling academically (this frustrates my teachers to no ends).
I am by my own admission I am socially awkward whether this is a side effect of my anger or the root of it I am unsure.
I supose what I'm asking you is, is my levels of anger normal?  How much further could it progress to impede on my life? Finally should I do anything about it,and if I did what are the options?
Thank you
Ask Sam


Hi there

Thanks for writing to me and explaining how things are for you right now. Feeling angry seems to have been something that has happened for a while. It’s unfair that this is as you describe it, “impeding” on your life. I can see that you are trying to work out if there is an acceptable amount of anger that people might have. What’s important is the fact that you seem to have reached a point where something is telling you that being so angry doesn’t feel right for you.

I notice from your letter that it’s also causing some difficulties with your education.  It can be difficult when something we feel we cannot control begins to interfere with something we enjoy or are good at: or something which is important to us like school or relationships.

I’m concerned that your cuts are getting deeper, as it makes me wonder if cutting in the way you have before, is no longer enough for you. I really want you to be safe.  You don’t say how it makes you feel when others make comments about your cuts, but I’m sensing it does upset you.

I think because of how things are for you, you might really benefit from some support. ChildLine counsellors often talk to young people about anger and self-harm and can be really supportive by listening to them, without judgement and helping them to find a way forward. You could talk to a counsellor, by ringing ChildLine on 0800 1111, calls are free. Another way would be to have a 1-2-1 chat online. What would that be like for you?

You might also get some support if you speak to someone in school like a school nurse, pastoral mentor, head of year – whoever you feel you could trust. Another way to get some help would be to see you doctor.

Just to let you know, what you tell ChildLine is confidential, unless we believe your life is in immediate danger. However, school or your doctor might not be able to keep what you say confidential. It therefore might be a good idea to check out their rules of confidentiality first, then you can have control over how much you tell them. I hope that makes sense.

Whatever you decide, I hope you will take good care of yourself.

Thanks again for being brave enough to write in.

Bye for now.


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