Ask Sam letter


To Sam

What About My Family?

I know I'm a lesbian, that's not the problem for me. My problem is my family. My nan is a strict roman catholic, and if i had £100 for every time my dad said that a gay man just needed the right girl, or that a lesbian is just confused, I'd be a millionaire.
I'm not ready to tell them yet, but is there anything i can do to help block it out? I have to grit my teeth and clentch my fists but i can't say anything.
It hurts more and more everytime, and i just don't know how to deal with it.
-B xx
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message – I can hear how difficult it is to hold yourself back from saying something to your family when they say negative things about gay and lesbian people. Whilst people are free to have their own opinion, it doesn’t mean they are right to think those things – and certainly not to make you feel bad about yourself by saying them to you.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) people have often had some difficult hurdles to overcome in the past with the way people have treated them because of their sexuality. One of the positive things to come from this is that there are a lot of support groups and a strong community that’s there for those who need it. You asked how you could block out those negative things your family are saying and it might be that other LGBT people can help support you.

One of the largest groups in the UK is called Stonewall – they have a campaign called “It Gets Better” which is a collection of inspiring messages of support from both high profile celebrities and just ordinary day to day people. It’s wrong for someone to bully you for being gay – whether it’s at school or at home – and sometimes hearing from someone who’s been through it and come out the other side can really help.

Don’t forget that ChildLine also has a really strong community on our message boards – perhaps you could talk with other young people whose family have had negative views on sexuality.

Whatever happens I’d like you to know that you can always come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor – either online or on the phone. Take care of yourself.


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