Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my uglyness and fatness

dear sam
             well i have been called really ugly once and i was really upset and didnt knw what to do i believe him that im ugly and fat but i try and stare myself and compair my self to other girls in the class what should i do sam i really need your help pease
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Bullying can really affect your confidence and it’s wrong for anybody to treat you like that.  It’s not your fault that somebody spoke to you in that way and it doesn’t mean that what they’re saying is true.  It can be difficult to build up your self-esteem after being bullied but it helps to remind yourself all the good things about yourself.  You could write a list of nice things so that when you’re feeling upset about the things the bullies said, you can remember that you are an important person with lots of qualities.

When we’re feeling low, we sometimes give ourselves a hard time and use negative self-talk (which means that we say unkind things to ourselves about ourselves).  It’s interesting to think about whether we’d treat a friend the same way we sometimes treat ourselves, when we call ourselves these types of words. How about thinking of something kind that you could say or do for yourself?  You could draw yourself a picture, tell yourself something nice or do an activity you enjoy.  Have a look at our Creative Tool, where you can create your own image or look at some created by other young people. You can also check out our tips for feeling better about yourself.

I’m concerned that you’re starving yourself. That can put you in a lot of danger and I’d always recommend getting medical advice about any changes to your diet so that you can keep healthy and safe. You can also speak to a doctor about this as they can help you with advice and treatment.

If the bullying is still happening, please remember that you can get help to make it stop. It can feel frightening to let somebody else know but having others there to support you, like a teacher or adult you trust, can help you to feel less on your own.

If you’d like to talk it through with a ChildLine counsellor, remember that you can get in touch with them any time.

Thanks so much for writing to me. 

Take care


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