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Hi there,
Thanks for your letter. When you talk about your family, it shows just how close you are to them and how much you care about them - and how it usually feels like they care about you. Im worried that the way your family have been acting about your weight has had such a massive effect both on your relationship with them and how you feel about yourself. It shows a lot of courage that you were able to write to me about this and Im glad that you did.
It sounds like youve been feeling like a different person lately, and that its hard not being able to find that old self who used to smile and laugh. Sometimes people can say things without realising just how hurtful it is. This could be what's happening when your family have been making jokes about you. Its important to remember that whether its intended or not, its never okay for anyone to make jokes about you that leave you feeling down about yourself like this. I was wondering what your family would want to do if they knew how much they were hurting you.
When you talk about your mum, I can see how much you want her to be able to see what youre actually going through. It sounds like shes not really seeing how you feel and taking it seriously. Im worried that youve been taking it out on yourself by hitting your legs. When you spoke about your mum seeing the bruises I was wondering what you would most want to say to her, if you could say absolutely anything.
Theres no right or wrong way for you to bring up how youre feeling. Sometimes it can feel easier when theres something like those bruises to start the conversation but its important to remember that it never has to be that way.
It can really help to try putting it down in a letter first. This could let you talk as much as you want about how youve been feeling in a way that youre in control of. Sometimes young people might feel its best to leave the letter or give it to someone, like your mum. Sometimes though, just writing it can be a starting point to thinking about what you want to say.
No matter what anyone else says or does, how you feel about yourself is more important than anything. It sounds like youve been self-conscious about your weight for a while. It seems like your feelings about it can sometimes overtake the other parts of you that you usually liked. It would be good to take a look through our page on Self-esteem to think about ways to help you feel better about yourself. You could also read our advice about how you look.
Whatever you decide, it would be a really good idea to talk to a Childline counsellor about how youve been feeling. Theyre there to support you in thinking about the future but also to give you a safe space to express how youve been feeling. You can talk to them online, by calling for free on 0800 1111 or even by writing an email.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.