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To Sam


I'm a 16 year old girl, and last year I cut my hair very short, pixie cut, just before Christmas. I loved it and i still love it. I get loads of compliments from girls and I feel different, good different. However I have days where I feel like I should grow it because I'm worried people will think I'm gay (I'm straight), Obviously there's nothing wrong with being gay I just don't want to fall into the short hair/lesbian stereotype. I also feel like I have to grow it because I see pictures of beautiful girls with long hair and people talking about long hair like its worshipable ( don't think that's a word haha). I don't want to grow my hair, I love it, but I feel like I'm being  judged or that I'm not good enough for other people or boys. How do I make myself see past this? Thank you x
Ask Sam


Hi there

It’s not unusual to feel under pressure to look a certain way. This might happen because of things you have seen on TV or in magazines. It can also come from comparing yourself to other people around you. It’s really important that you feel comfortable about the way you look, so it’s great that you have some positive feelings about your haircut, and have had compliments from other people.

People often use their appearance as a way to show other people what they are like as a person. Sometimes peer pressure can make you feel unsure about looking a certain way.

There are more ideas about ways to cope with this on our how you look page. The body image message board would be a good place to get opinions from other young people about coping with these feelings. You might find that other people have written about similar things. 

As you said, there is nothing wrong with being gay. And if anyone did think you were gay it would be wrong for them to make negative comments about this. If you’re worried about anything people have said, think about talking to an adult you trust. Maybe you could also try talking to a ChildLine counsellor about what’s causing you to feel judged.

Thank you for writing to me about this.

Take care,

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