Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Bullying is never okay. But if you're bullied for doing something you love, it can take away some of the joy that we get from it. You should never be ashamed about your hobbies or the way you are. It takes courage to be assertive and say that you want to be who you are, but it can improve the situation.

I can understand that the reason the bullying hurts so much isn’t just the names they call you, but it’s the fact they have chosen to bully you specifically. It can make you question yourself and wonder if there’s something wrong with you. There isn’t – when someone bullies you, it says more about them than it does you.

People bully others for lots of reasons – none of them are good reasons. But often they can be about making the bully feel good about themselves. When they see someone who is different, they can be an easy target for them to pick on and feel better about themselves.

If you enjoy reading, then it would be okay to stand up for that and show the bullies that actually if they want to make fun of that then it’s not going to stop you from doing what you love. Sometimes that confidence is enough to stop bullies in their tracks and they don’t know how to react. You can find out more about building your confidence after bullying by watching our video.

Standing up for something like this is hard. But you might find that if you’re able to be confident about who you are, then you’ll attract people who like the real you. Nobody should have to pretend they’re someone they’re not – but often we do it to fit in. If you can find the courage to be yourself, you won’t need to pretend.

If the bullying continues then it’s also always okay to tell someone at school – they’re there to make sure bullying doesn’t happen and you should never have to go through it alone. If you wanted to talk to our counsellors more about this, they’re here for you.

Thanks for your letter, take care.
Sam