Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Stressed about school

Hi sam,
this is the second time I have wrote to you and I must say i appriciate your advice.
However, the whole school has found out about the sexual harrassment, and now, all the boys are doing the same and there touching my body when I keep on telling them not too, making disturbed comments about me an dhow they 'feel'.!
Never the less, there is this one boy, and I really like him because he is the only one who isn't saying anything disgustin about me, no matter how much his friends try & make him do it he won't. I feel like he has respect for me, we talk to eachother alot. But I'm worried that he might get picked on for not coming up to me and saying oh your so beautiful babe you wanna come to my place..
I'm only in year nine, and I'm not interested in a sexual relationship, but now most of the boys think they can touch me, and just...well you know what I mean.
Please help sam! (Oh my parents are aware of some of the situation, but I dont wanna tell them everything because they might think I'm cheap)
Yours  C* xx
Ask Sam


Hello C*,

It’s good to hear from you again, I’m pleased that you found getting in touch helpful. I’m really glad you’ve told me about what is happening as the boys should not be touching you in the way that they are, or saying things that make you feel uncomfortable. It is wrong for anyone to touch your body when you don’t want them to. If you are not interested in a sexual relationship no-one has the right to put pressure on you to have one. I think it would be really useful for you to have a look at the sexual abuse pages on our website.

You said the whole school knows about the sexual harassment - If any staff at school knows about any students behaving in this way they should be trying to stop it from happening. If you think no staff at school know, have a think about talking to a member of staff that you get on well with. Sometimes people find asking a friend to go with them to talk to staff can make it easier. If you feel uncomfortable talking, maybe you could write a note for a teacher, explaining the same things you’ve explained to me here.

It’s clear that the boy you like is behaving very differently to the others, and I can hear that you’re worried that could make him stand out. I’m wondering what it would be like for you to talk to him about how you feel? If anyone does pick on him that is not your fault. All schools have to have a policy (like a statement) to say how they deal with bullying, and if he was picked on teachers have a responsibility to do something about it. Having a look at the information about coping with bullying here might be useful to you, and also to your friend

You’ve explained that you’re feeling nervous about talking to your parents – nothing that the boys have done or said is your fault, and doesn’t mean you are ‘cheap’. Some people who don’t feel comfortable talking to a parent or carer sometimes find it easier  talking to another family member or friend about what is happening. Another way to talk about this more without being judged would be to have a conversation with a ChildLine counselor online in the 1-2-1 chat or on the phone. You could talk to them about what you think might help, and ways to deal with what is happening.

Take Care,


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