Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your message,

I can hear how upsetting it is that your best friend won’t talk or play with you at lunch. It seems like you’re trying really hard to stay friends with her. Some friendships are fun, caring and respectful. Friends shouldn’t ignore you or leave you to eat lunch alone. It doesn’t sound like this friendship is making you happy.

You seem very angry with T, because it feels like she’s taking your best friend away from you. I want you to know that it’s ok to feel angry, but it’s important to remember that T might not be doing this on purpose. I think writing to me was a really good idea, because it was a safe way to let out some of that anger without hurting yourself or anyone else.

Maybe you could try talking to your best friend when T isn’t around and letting her know how you are feeling? If you feel like T and your best friend are being deliberately unkind, then I think it would be a really good idea to speak to a family member, a teacher or an adult that you trust. No-one should be mean to you on purpose, and an adult could help stop this happening.

Maybe you could also take time to think about the type of friendship you would like to have. You deserve to be happy and have friends who you can talk and play with at lunchtime. If you decide that your best friend isn’t someone you want to spend time with then think about other people in your school that you get on with. Sometimes joining a local youth club or taking part in sports or after school clubs can be a good way of meeting new friends.

Have a look in Explore for more information about friendships. You could also visit our message boards where you can read what other young people say about dealing with friendship problems.

Childline counsellors are also here if you want to talk some more about this friend. You can contact them through email, by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat or by calling the freephone number, 0800 1111.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam