Ask Sam letter


To Sam

left out

hi sam it is nothing big but it hurts me inside more than people realise i feel disinvolved sometimes i have told someone at school they said to try and involve yourself and dont make them come to you so i go to them and they just carry on talking even though they see me i dont want to tell my mum because i wanted to just see if it got better but it still carries on because my old teacher last year told all the girls but they are doing it this year and i know one of my freinds in school has the same problem as me but i dont wish to say her name.

thx for listning please get back to me soon. ;)

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling. It seems like you’re having an upsetting time at school and I can hear that it hurts when you don’t feel included. 

You said that you don’t think people really know the pain it puts you through when you’re not part of things. Sometimes other people don’t realise the effect they’re having on you. Although your last teacher mentioned it to the girls, it could help to remind them. If they don’t listen, perhaps you could think about letting a teacher know about it again. 

When people leave you out on purpose, it’s classed as bullying and people are not allowed to do it. There are rules at school to protect people from being bullied. If you think they’re doing it on purpose, it’s important to get an adult involved so they can help to sort things out. Nobody has the right to bully you and make you feel bad like this. It’s not your fault it’s happening.

You can also find out what other young people think about this by taking a look at the Bullying section on the message boards. Remember that you don’t have to go through this on your own. 

ChildLine counsellors can be there to listen to you and to your friend. You can phone, log on for a 1-2-1 chat or email them any time. Maybe you could let your friend know about this as well.

You’ve done a really great job writing to me about this. Thanks again for your letter. I hope you get the help you need to get this sorted. You deserve to feel happy and included at school.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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