Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Recently, i have fell out with my friend and i have been asked to apologise however i dont want to be the one who always apologizing because its not always my fault! How Could I Try To Get Her To Apologise To Me?
Ask Sam



Thanks for your message.

I’m really pleased that you chose to come and talk to me about your friend. Friendships, like any relationship, can be lovely, but also tricky especially when things are not going so well. It sounds like deep down you really value your friendship.

You say that you have fallen out with your friend, and it seems like you do not think it will be fair on this occasion for you to apologise. It looks like you are the one who always has to say sorry, even when it is not your fault. Friendships are about fairness and it can take time to get this right. It can be important to talk about how you feel your friendship is being affected by what has been happening. Sometimes people close to us do not realise the effect their behaviours can have on us and a friendly and polite conversation with them can make a difference.

How about making up with your friend, if that is what you want to do. Then when things are better between you, having a talk to her about it and come up with a plan as to how you might deal with things in the future. I want you to know that it takes a lot of courage and strength of character to make the first move in apologising, so if you do decide to do this you should feel proud of yourself.

If you still feel that you want your friend to apologise to you then it could be about waiting to see if she does eventually decide to do that, but it could turn out that she feels unable to and then you might want to think about what to do next.

You can take a look at the friendship page in the explore section for more information and advice.

You could also talk to a ChildLine counsellor by calling 0800 1111, logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending them an email.

Take care for now


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