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To Sam

Young carer to siblings who keep fighting

Hi Sam,

I'm a young carer to my autistic twin and autistic younger brother, I sometimes have to help them with certain things and deal with things that are unique to their problems. One thing is their fighting! My twin is very social but has problems with sort of accidently annoying people lots. My younger brother loves gaming, but screams adnormally and can get very angry when people disturb him! These two personalities don't go well together as you can imagine and I really want them to stop fighting and get along. It makes me sad as they fight 24/7 and they should love eachother, and want to help break up the fights but it's really tricky. Any advice?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Each member of a family has different needs and ways of behaving - and this includes family members who have a disability or long-term illness. Autism affects people differently. But it can mean there's extra responsibility on you sometimes. Having to look after someone else doesn’t mean your needs aren’t important too.

Having autism can make it harder to understand relationships with other people and feelings and emotions. Sometimes families with a child with autism aren't aware of the impact it has on other children in the family. It might be good to speak to your parents or carers about your feelings and ask for some help.

​You can find out more on our autism page and from the National Autistic Society who have information for brothers and sisters of children with autism.

​Young carers look after family members who can't care for themselves and it can be hard work, especially when you’re not an adult. There’s lots of different support available for young people who have these responsibilities. Young Carer has advice on their website, including information on projects that could help in your local area.​

You can also check out our message boards to get support and read messages from other young people like yourself who have siblings with autism.

Thanks for your letter, take care.


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