Ask Sam letter


To Sam


My Parents have recently seperated and i have found this really hard. My grades have gone down loads aswell. As we are coming up towards christmas i have found this even harder, and i cant cope. I often find my self crying in the toilets at school or even in my room. I struggle to find advice from people, do you have any advice? Thank you x

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter.

There have been some big changes in your life recently and it’s understandable that you’re struggling to cope with your parents’ separation. If you are feeling lonely or isolated, Christmas can make you feel even worse than usual.

It sounds like it’s hard to let people that are close to you know how you’re feeling inside - so I’m really glad that you've written to me. If you’re feeling alone or down, it's really important that you don't keep it all to yourself.

Talking about how you feel to someone you trust will help them understand what you're going through. It will also help them support you. I can hear how sad you’re feeling and this is exactly what ChildLine is there for - to talk about things that are hard to talk about with other people.

Sometimes our feelings can seem like they’re affecting everything that we do. It sounds like trying to cope with everything can get very overwhelming for you at school and at home. Talking about things can help you understand them better and help you think of different ways to manage.

You said that your grades have dropped and I was wondering if there’s someone at school that you feel comfortable talking to like a teacher or the school nurse. You don't have to tell them everything all at once, but you could just make them aware that you’re struggling a little. They might be able to put some extra support in place for you during the day so that you don’t feel alone when you’re upset.

Thinking about Christmas is very tough, especially when you’re struggling to cope with all of these new feelings and emotions. It sounds as though you feel caught in the middle, between your mum and your dad.

The separation has been decided by your parents and talking to your mum and your dad will help them to understand how you’re feeling. They might be worried about things too and they might not realise just how upset you are if you don't tell them.

If you don’t feel ready to talk to your parents, you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can ring the free phone number 0800 1111, log on for a 1-2-1 chat or send an email. Whatever you decide, there’s always someone there for you to talk to.

Take a look at our divorce and separation page for more information and advice. You could also take a look at the message boards section to see what other young people are saying who are in a similar situation as you.

It’s taken a lot of courage to write to me and I hope that we hear from you again when you’re ready.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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