Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hello, A couple off weeks I have went to one of my friends 16th birthday party. Both of my parents knew about it, but something happened. Unfortunately I mixed a few drinks at the Ame time and I felt sick. (My parents knew about drinking and feeling sick). I got sick on a mattress and I ruined it. Sadly there is no way it could be washed so my friend's mum is asking me to pay. It would cost about a 100 pounds and I have that much at the moment, but how do I tell my um about this? I don't want her to give me money but I want her to know why I'm giving a 100 pounds to my friend. What is the best way to tell her? I'm scared she'll be really mad and disappointed. I don't mind being grounded for a couple of week, I just don't want to break the close relationship between me and my mum. Thank you
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for getting in touch with me and letting me know how difficult things are. I can hear that you are really thinking hard about what to do next. How much thought you are giving this situation makes me see that you really care.

You’ve done the right thing to be open and honest with your parents about the drinking. It sounds like they are already aware of so much of the situation and this may make talking to them slightly easier than if you hadn’t said anything so far.

I think the important thing to remember here is that everybody makes mistakes and it’s the learning that we gain from what happens which helps us to make better choices in the future.

It sounds like you really want to make this situation right and that you are doing your best to help your friend’s family to get a new mattress. Maybe this would be something to say to your mum, using your own words and feelings. You say that you and your mum are really close and it sounds like you want to make the grownup and mature decision here. I’m wondering if being open and honest with her might even make your relationship stronger as she will know you can tell her anything. If it’s difficult to have the conversation with your mum, maybe you could write it down in a letter just like you have done with me.

I can’t say if your mum will ground you for what has happened, but unfortunately with many mistakes there are consequences. The positive side is to learn from what happens and make different decisions in the future. It's also good to know that you have done the right thing by making up for your mistake.

I can hear that this is a difficult thing to have gone through and you’ve put so much time and effort into thinking about the next step that is right for you. If you want more help and support then don’t hesitate to talk things through with a counsellor. I know that they would want to support you through what happens next.

Take care,

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