Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Not knowing my dad

Hello Sam,
I have ran out of ideas on how to get in contact with my dad who i have never met, i have tried everything possible which i can think of and there is nothing, i am nearly 16 years old and i want to find my dad, my mum wont help me and none of my family members will help me, i have contacted my uncles on facebook and they don't reply, i'm really upset over this and really want to meet him or get in contact with me - is there any website i can go onto to help me, or can you help me?
thankyou so much if you reply
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for writing to me as I can hear how upset and frustrated you are about trying to find your dad.

It sounds like this is something you’ve been thinking about for some time and that you’ve tried really hard to find ways to at least find out who your dad is but have always reached a dead end. I understand that this can be really difficult to deal with, especially when you’re getting no response at all or just blunt refusals from other members of your family. I’m wondering if anyone has ever explained the reason that they won’t help you. If not, maybe that’s something you could ask, for some people this can be an important starting point and it can show others how serious you are about this.

You haven’t said anything in your letter about what you’re hoping for if you did ever find your dad or if you’ve thought about how your dad might be if you found him. It can be helpful to start thinking about these things now as we can experience a mixture of strange and sometimes new emotions when we think about things like this. It might also help to think about how things will be with your mum and the rest of your family if you did make contact with your dad. It would be a really good idea to think these things through as it will help you to be more ready for all the possibilities of what could happen. There may be ways you could find your dad but this would depend on what information you have about him already. You can talk all of this through with one of the counsellors to help work through it all. You can do this by ringing them on 0800 1111, taking up an on-line 1-2-1 chat through our website or via email. Calls are the most immediate and quickest way to contact ChildLine - they’re free and won’t show up on your bills. Online 1-2-1 chats are also immediate but at certain times you may have a little wait. Emails are not immediate but we aim to reply within 24 hours.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

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