Hi there,

One of the hard things at home is when you aren’t given a say in what happens. Even when you’re not included in a decision, you still deserve to feel safe and comfortable. When you’re not feeling okay, then it’s important to get support.

It might not always feel easy talking to your mum about how you’re feeling. You might be worried about how she’ll react or think that she’ll dismiss you. Even when you’re worried, talking about things is the first step to helping change things in the future.

There are lots of ways to make a difficult conversation easier. Start by just focusing on how you’re feeling, then try giving a few examples of what’s happened. Try to think about a time when it would feel most comfortable to approach your mum. This might be the evening, out somewhere, or even if you’re in the car or travelling. Try to pick a time when neither of you would be distracted and you won’t be disturbed.

It could also help to think a little about the future and what might make things easier. This might be things your mum could do to help how her boyfriend is behaving, or things you could all do together to get to know each other. Thinking about what you could do next can help your mum to support this.

Even when you do nothing wrong, there are times when an adult doesn’t react in the best way. Even if your mum doesn’t want to listen or reacts badly, you still deserve to feel supported.

Try to think about the other adults who are there to support you. This might be family outside the home, teachers, or people who look after you. Even if you can’t think of anyone, Childline is here to support you.

There can be times when family arguments become abusive. If someone is shouting at you all the time, putting you down, or hurting you, then that is never okay. If someone is hurting you, then there are ways to get help. You can speak to Childline about what’s happening, and in an emergency you should always call 999.

Remember, things can change in the future, you don’t have to deal with things alone.

Take care,

Sam