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To Sam

Needs for developing

Dear sam
I am writing to ask you for advice
I am 11 yrs and I feel I need a bra and everyone including parents and youtubers say that at  my age I should have  one but my parents are always negative about my neccessities  i dont know who to turn to they  always say you cant do this etc until you are 16 or even 18 even when I need it now i feel that its not about age its aboutyour body and mind developing and not age but I can never talk  to them because the answer is always no.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Your age shouldn't be the only thing that means you're ready to wear a bra. Everyone develops at different speeds. Some girls need a bra earlier (or later) than others, and during puberty the body changes a lot for boys and girls. 

You might hear about girls your age wearing bras already, but it’s important that if you feel you need a bra you are able to talk about this and get what you need.
It’s hard when parents say 'no' to things, but there is a difference between them saying 'no' to something you want and something you need. At some point you will probably need a bra and because making sure you have enough clothes and underwear is part of a parent’s job, they should take you seriously.

If you find they’re not giving you what you need, then it might help to talk to people that could either get a bra for you or help you to talk to your parents and change their mind. If you have grandparents, aunts/uncles or older siblings then these are all people who might be able to help you.

It would be a good idea to give your parents a chance. Even if they usually say 'no' to things, this might be something they’re happy to do for you. 

I hope that helps, remember that you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor if you wanted to.


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