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My Step-mums twins

Hi Sam,

5 months ago my step-mum found out she was expecting twins. A few days ago we went back to the doctors and found out that one has died. I'm so scared for her other child. I'm worried she will lose the other one too. I'm not sure what to do and am keeping my feelings bottled up. I am also worried about my Step-mum as she won't eat or speak to me. I would be really grateful for any advice.

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Sam

Hi there,

When a developing baby dies during pregnancy it is called a miscarriage. Women can miscarry for all kinds of reasons - sometimes for no obvious reason at all. It's a very difficult thing for everyone to come to terms with and people can grieve just as much for an unborn person as they can for someone who died after being born. Bottling up feelings about death is not usually a good way of coping and will sometimes make it harder for you later on.

Your step-mum may not be ready to talk about what she is going through with you right now - especially as she is still in the middle of what's happening. Sometimes people take time to fully take in the loss of a baby and they may need the space to come to terms with it before they talk. This doesn't mean you shouldn't get support for yourself though.

Finding the right person to talk to is important - they need to be someone you can trust and someone who is available to you. This could be another relative or a friend if you'd prefer. You could also talk to them about getting your step-mum some help, as it will be easier for you if you know your step-mum is being looked after.

​Your step-mum may want to talk to the Miscarriage Association for some support. You are able to talk to Childline about this if you're 18 or under, and our counsellors are ready to hear from you.

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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