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To Sam

My Mum

Dont get me wrong i love my mum, but she is going through her menopause and has such dramatic mood swings. she is always angry and that makes me angry and upset which i took out on my best friend and then she hated me, But now we have made up. however as soon as i make up with my mum something makes her super angry again. Hormone diplacement therapy could give her cancer and i dont want to risk that, its not major, but i need some advice.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Living with someone who has mood swings can be difficult and their mood might affect you. You’re not responsible for how they’re feeling and no one should make you feel uncomfortable or scared. If someone is angry a lot of the time they might need help with how they’re coping with their feelings

The menopause is when a woman’s periods stop and her hormone levels changes. It usually happens around the ages of 45 to 55 but can be younger or older. How much it affects someone changes from person to person. You might notice low mood, anxiety and concentration or memory problems. The symptoms can have a big impact on everyday activities for some women and they might need support or medication to help.

Your mum might not realise how much her moods are affecting you, so it would be good to try talking to her about how you’re feeling. Perhaps send her a message, write a letter or just sit down with her to talk when the time is right.

Although your mum might be having a difficult time she shouldn’t behave in a way that makes you feel upset or worried and she is responsible for what she says, what she does and for getting help and support for herself.

It’s her decision whether or not to take medication for her symptoms. Most medication has some side effects and your mum can talk to her doctor to see whether hormone replacement would be an option for her. The doctor can give her information about any cancer risks and might offer her other help like counselling and suggest things to help the symptoms like eating healthily and exercising regularly.

Sometimes the menopause can make sleeping difficult so she might feel more irritated if she’s tired and hot flushes can be uncomfortable and embarrassing. You could offer to help out more at home if she’s struggling but it’s important that you take care of yourself too. You could ask a trusted adult for help if she’s saying things that are hurtful or emotionally abusive.

You can always get support from a counsellor at Childline and you could read posts on the message boards to see how other young people have coped in a similar situations.

I hope this advice has helped.

Take care,


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