im 13 years old and my twin brother has so much more freedom than me. he always talks back to my mom and she doesnt mind but if i even give her an accidental look that she doesnt like i get screamed at. he is allowed to go anywhere he wants and my mom doesnt mind. he is allowed to walk alone for hours without even calling or telling her. i asked if i could go for a quick walk just outside our house and she freaked out at me and said that i couldn’t because im a girl and its not safe. she is always so much more strict and protective of me even though were the same age! im starting to struggle to spend time with her i just hate how differently im treated. i hate being a girl so much! it feels like I’ll never be able to do anything because of the stupid fucking sex i was born with. i know 100% im not trans but i just hate this and i hate myself and im starting to hate my family too
please help i dont know what to do
Sam
Hi there,
When you become a teenager it’s natural to want more freedom and to be more independent, that’s part of growing up. It can be frustrating when you’re a parent or carer doesn’t give you that, especially when they might give your other family members more freedom. This can feel unfair and can leave you feeling fed up.
Talking about your feelings can help you feel a lot better. The message boards may be a good place for you to share how you’re feeling and get advice from other young people who are going through the same thing. You can also talk to the Childline counsellors any time.
Your Mum may not know that you feel frustrated with how she’s treating you. Maybe you could try talking to her about it, you don’t have to tell her everything straight away, you can start off with just telling her something small and seeing how she responds to that. As you build more trust with her around this , you’ll find that you’ll be able to share more with her. The conversation starter on the Chilldine website can help to make it a bit easier. You can take your time and write down how you’re feeling and how you would like to be supported and then give that to your Mum or another adult you trust.
Hope this helps.
Take care,
Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
