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My dad's girlfriend hurts me

my mum and dad got divorced some months back I was really sad, my parents fought over me and my brother. Eventually I ended up with dad and my brother ended up with mum. My dad has a girlfriend called Leyla, we live with her its quite far away from mum and I miss her loads. Leyla doesn't like me living with her and dad when I ask for anything she says "don't ask so much of me! im just one woman! your very lucky to even be living here, I don't need any of this!" I heard her talking to dad in the living room (we live in a flat) she was saying "I think that we spoil that girl too much she is always misbehaving and she doesn't respect me at all" my dad just said "I understand she can be a nasty piece of work" 

I didn't understand at all. One day I came home from school and I got myself a drink and a biscuit from the cupboard, Leyla came in and shouted at me really loudly she told me I was a horrid worthless child who is no use to anyone she slapped me really hard across the face and sent me to my room. My dad wasn't in then and when he arrived he asked me what was the large red mark on my face, I told him that Leyla had hit me but he did not believe me and then he told me off for trying to get Leyla into trouble. Leyla is forever slapping me for doing things I dont know I have done wrong. I want my mum so much and I hate living here please tell me a way to ask dad if I can move in with mum. Thankyou so much

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Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your message, you have done the right thing by talking about how your dad’s girlfriend has been treating you. No one has the right to hurt you in this way.  What she has done is wrong and it’s important that you get some support to stop this from happening again.

You are not worthless or nasty and you should not have to listen to these comments. It’s understandable that you will be feeling confused about how she is treating you but it’s important to remember that this is not your fault. I think that slapping someone and calling them names is abuse, and it shouldn’t be happening. You could have a look at the Explore pages for more information about physical abuse and emotional abuse.

It is important that you talk to someone about what’s happening to you so that you can get more help to stop this from continuing. Perhaps you could think about speaking to your mum about what has been happening at home as she may be able to help you speak to your dad about it. It’s your parents’ responsibility to keep you safe and protect you from being hurt so if your dad is not doing this then it’s important that you talk to someone else about this.

You said your mum lives far away. Could you think about giving her a call to explain what has been happening? Maybe you could ask her to arrange a visit?

Another idea is to think about talking to a teacher at school about how things are at home. If your teacher knows you are being hurt at home, they have a responsibility to do something to help make sure you are kept safe. You might also want to see what other young people have said about their family relationships on the message boards. You could even leave a message yourself to get some support if you like.

The counsellors at ChildLine can talk to you more about possible options. You can speak to a counsellor through email, 1-2-1 chat or contact ChildLine’s helpline on 0800 1111. I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam

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