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To Sam


My mum says that I dont apreciate anything and that if I move in with my dad she will disown me and never talk to me again and I don't know what to do because I think it would be better and I would be happier living with my dad because I feel slightly depressed when living with my mum and I don't know what to do please help me I'm stuck and I don't know what to do for the best

do I move in with my dad and let her disown me or stay unhappy and let her rip me apart? Please help
Ask Sam


Hi there,

When parents move apart it can be really hard to know what to do, especially if you’re trying to work out who you might be happiest living with. It can be more confusing if someone tries to make you feel bad about who you chose to live with.  It’s not fair for parents to blame their children or make them feel bad about it because splitting up is never a child’s fault.

It’s wrong of your mum to threaten to disown you if you chose to live with your dad. This is called emotional abuse. There are people who can help your mum deal with how she feels about the break-up. No matter what she is going through, you deserve to feel happy where you live and you don’t have to put up with being treated badly.

You have the right to say who you want to live with. If you think it would be better to live with your dad then it’s important that you talk to him or an adult you trust to help you sort that out. Sometimes a family may need help with getting on or deciding where you live. That’s where social services or family support can really help.  There is more information about this on our page about divorce and separation.

Talking about how you feel with someone outside of the family can really help because there is no pressure on you to choose either your mum or dad. If you would like to talk more about any of this with a ChildLine counsellor, you can talk at any time by phoning 0800 1111, sending an email or having a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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