Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Moving away

My mum's dealing with the menapores and she's recently just got rid of her ex partner. She usually gets rid of him every month then goes back to him in the same day. He's an abusive person and has been sentenced to court for domestic violence recently. He wasn't charged with anything at all. My mums getting to the point where if she cant get anything she wants then she will take it out on me verbally. What can i do? I want to move out but I don't know where to go. Please give me some advice.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

You have the right to be safe from that sort of behaviour. If you’re ever feeling in danger from him, you have the right to call 999 for emergency help. You can also contact ChildLine so that a counsellor can support you in telling somebody about what’s happening. We can help keep you safe. Organisations like social services and the emergency services can also help in situations like this.

There are also lots of organisations that can help people who are living with domestic violence. There’s a website called The Hideout, which has lots of advice and information about what you can do if you’re a young person living in a home where there’s domestic violence

You mentioned that your mum is dealing with the menopause. This can be a difficult time both for those experiencing it and also for those close to them. If you’d like to find out more about that, you can take a look at the NHS’ webpage for more information on it. I can hear that your mum is having a difficult time right now. She can get professional help with this by speaking to a doctor.

It’s not okay for your mum to take out her frustration on you. I’m wondering whether anybody else knows about what’s happening with your mum. It could help to let another adult know about what’s going on so that they can support you with it.

It sounds as though you’d like to move out but you’re not sure where you’d go. If you’re under 16, you wouldn’t be able to leave home unless you have your mum's permission or if social services get involved.

If you’re over 16 and living in England, you can find out more information about your housing rights by taking a look at the Shelter website. For people over 16, living in Wales, there’s information on Shelter Cymru. And for people in Scotland, you can look on the Shelter Scotland site. 

For information in Northern Ireland, call 028 9024 7752 or contact ChildLine directly for more information about support in your local area.

You’ve done well to get in touch and I really hope that you get the support you need.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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