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To Sam

i hate my mum

me and my mum have never been close but she has always been close to my sister who is 9. i am 14 by the way. i never talk to her about anything and she never cares when i look sad or upset. today i was just rinsing out a jug in the kitchen and as i came out the room she grabbed me and chucked me out the door and i landed on my side on the concrete ground and made a big hole in my tights and my knee started to bleed. i also grazed my hand. she was waiting in the car to go to school while i scrambled to my feet got my keys from my school bag and opened the house door. i limped to my room and sat there for about 10mins. im still at home, tryed calling my 'mum' but she wont pick up. i dont want to live this way anymore and i dont know what to do. im scared, lonely and always miserable. i havent told my friends this because i find it embarassing because i just want to be like everyone else. i want a mum who loves and care about me. i've felt like this since i was about 9 and often thought about running away but i cant pluck up the courage to do it. please reply soon as i am so confused and scared
Ask Sam



Thank-you for your letter. You’ve shown a lot of courage by writing down how you feel and sharing it here.

It seems like things have been really hard for you living with your mum, with her not seeming to care about how you feel, and with what she did to you.  I can see it has left you feeling scared, lonely and miserable and wishing that things were different.

I want you to know that what is happening to you, the way your mum is treating you, is not your fault.  You are worth being listened to and treated with care, how you feel is so important.

You mum should not have grabbed you and chucked you like that, this is physical abuse and it is wrong. No one has the right to hurt you.  You have the right to feel safe in your own home, but anytime you feel scared or unsafe you can call 999, the police are there to help.

It sounds like it feels that running away could help but it would perhaps only create more problems? It could also put you in an unsafe situation. For more information have a look Homelessness and running away in Explore.

What you would like to happen at home and what do you think would make life better for you? It may help to talk to someone you trust about what you are going through, perhaps there is someone in your family, or maybe a teacher at school that you could talk to, to see what help there could be for you? 

Sadly lots of young people have difficult home lives, you are not alone in what you are going through. You may want to look at the Home and family relationships message board to see what other young people suggest? There is also information in Explore about family relationships.

Anytime you want to talk more about this, ChildLine is here for you.  If you ever want to talk about feeling sad or upset, or anything at all, you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor anytime. 

I hope you are able to talk to someone and to find the help you need.

Take care,


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