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how can my best friend tell his mam he's gay

Hey I'm really worred about my friend,he's gay and he wants to tell his mam that he's gay but he's really stressing about it how can he tell his mam he's gay I don't know what to do anymore he's been feeling really down I can't see him like this anymore
Ask Sam


Hi and thanks for your letter.

I can hear that you are really worried about your friend and you really want to help him tell his mum he is gay. You sound like a really caring and supportive friend and you’re there for him when he needs you most.

I can understand how it can be really tough for young people to tell other people that they are gay - some people call this 'coming out'. Sometimes people find it difficult to come out to others because they are worried there will be a negative reaction. It sounds like your friend is worried about how his mum might react, so for him to be open and honest with you about his sexuality shows that he really trusts you.

From what you’ve told me, I can hear how big a step it is for your friend to tell his mum that he’s gay and it might help him to know he is not alone. There are lots of organisations supporting gay, lesbian and bisexual young people. He might find it useful to look at Young Stonewall. Our own page on sexuality also has some advice that I hope you and your friend find useful.

ChildLine’s message boards have a very supportive sexuality section and this might be a good place for him to get some ideas. He can read through other people’s stories or post his own thread to see what other young people think about his situation.

Remember that ChildLine counsellors are there to support both you and your friend. If either of you need to talk you can contact a ChildLine counsellor free on 0800 1111. You can also log on for an online chat or send an email.

Take care

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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