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To Sam

How can i help her?

My family and i are a happy family, we love each other and we live all together....exept this one little problem. Since a younge age my mum has always been the one caring the WHOLE family. And thats also my problem here. My dad never payed a bill, not once with his OWN money that HE urned at least. My mum is in destress but everyday she is working hard for us, all of us! And i just feel, i have to do somthing, i have start working right now and get money, get it, if my dad and everyone else cant, i will! For example, when council tax came to our house, they were angry, they wanted to take our good an stuff that belongs to us, i dont care if they are allowed, but at least think about the children, me and my little brother who live in this house, my big brother was talking to them, while my dad had to hide upstiars because HE was the one who was supposed to pay it. I dont know what to do in this situation anymore, i want to help, in anyway i can, a job! I will even clean floors for now if it gets me enough to help my mum!
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. It’s good to hear that you live in a happy family but it sounds really difficult for you with all these worries about money. I can see you're also worried about your mum coping and your dad’s attitude and responsibility towards his family. Money worries can affect many parts of our life and it can sometimes be hard to see a way out of these issues.

You say that you feel you need to do something to help and that you are thinking about starting work to get money. You don’t explain in your message how old you are but there are rules about when young people can start work. At age 13 you can have a part time job like a paper round and at 16 you can get a full time job. You can find out more about the rules and regulations of working here.

I’m wondering if you have spoken to your mum about the situation at home and explained to her how you feel and that you want to do something to help.  It could be that there is more you could do to help your mum at home to give her a break, rather than actually going out to work yourself. I can see that you really want to help but it is important to be sure that you also make decisions that are right for you. 

Starting a job can be a big change and mean additional responsibilities. It can also mean less time for yourself. Of course there are positive things too and it can help to look at both of these. Sometimes by writing them down, it can help you decide if a part-time job is something you are ready to take on and maintain.

There is an organisation called Family Lives which offers support to parents and family members on many topics including money matters. Perhaps you and your mum could check this out to see if there might be any other financial support that your family might be entitled to.

If you would like to talk through your situation more or would like more support, you could contact ChildLine by phone, log on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending us an email. The counsellors are there to listen you and you can get in touch at any time.

Take care for now,

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