As a kid, my room is naturally messy. My parents and family all hate it. I partially hate it too, and I sort of wish it was clean sometimes. Not all the time though. I like it to be messy sometimes, because it makes me feel more comfortable, and the best way I can describe it is like 'Being a dragon surrounded by its treasure'. I cate about a lot of things in my room, even if they're completely useless and only take up space. I don't want to throw anything away, but I still want to change my room and make it nicer for people. My parents get mad at me a lot because I don't clean well enough, but I keep telling them that I'm trying my best and then they say nothing. I don't even know how to clean!! But when I tell them that they think it's just a stupid excuse to be lazy. I'm not trying to be lazy, but i find myself crying a lot because I can't change. I don't know how to!! Additionally, I'm always scared I could be eavesdroped on in my own room, because my family members sometimes just burst into my room without warning, and I'm scared they could see something I don't want them to see.
:(
Thanks
Sam
Hi there,
Lots of people struggle to keep their room tidy and it can feel hard knowing where to start. Cleaning and organising are skills that take time to learn. Everyone has their own way of feeling comfortable and having a messy space isn’t the same as being lazy.
It can feel difficult when you feel comfortable when things are messier, but your family prefers things being neatly put away. Wanting your space to feel like it’s yours is natural, so sometimes it can be about finding a balance that works for everyone. Remember, tidying doesn’t have to be all or nothing and it’s also okay to keep some things that matter to you.
When it comes to tidying, It helps to break the job down into small steps. For example, start with one shelf or one corner of the floor and set a timer for 10 minutes. It can be helpful to use boxes or bags to sort things into 'keep', 'maybe', and 'recycle or bin'. If you’re not sure what to do with something, putting it in they 'maybe' box means you don’t have to decide straight away.
When your 'maybe' box is full, it’s time to start thinking about what you want to keep. There are a few ways to make this easier.
First, set a limit on how much of the box you’re allowed to keep. For example if there are 20 items in there, set a limit to only keep ten of them. Next, it can help to ask someone you trust to help you go through the box. This could be your parents, or it could be a friend you feel comfortable with. Having someone else there can help you stick to your limit.
Remember, you don’t need to do everything straight away. If a space looks tidier than it did when you first started, then you’ve done something to be proud of.
As you get older, it can take time for people to get used to you wanting more privacy. It can help to talk to your family about how you feel when they burst into your room. Some people also find it helps to explain that their room is their private space, and they want to feel safe there.
Take care,
Sam
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