Ask Sam letter


To Sam


im 10 years old and i get abuse i dont like to talk about it but i really need help ... im not aloud to call on the phone my dad wont let me its not abuse as in really like hitting or anthing its just i get left in my room all the time i have nobody to talk to and i get shouted at alot things like : u shouldnt of been born and its all my fault???? i dont know why it has to be like this... so please help me !!!!!
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m so glad that you decided to write to me. It sounds like things can be really difficult and lonely at home at the moment. It’s not okay for anyone to say nasty things like “you shouldn’t have been born” or to blame things on you unfairly. It sounds like you feel this isn’t abuse because you’re not being hit, but what’s happening to you is called emotional abuse. Any kind of abuse is wrong - everyone has a right to feel safe and happy at home.

You said that you don’t know why things have to be like this. I want you to know that what’s happening is not your fault. It can be hard to understand what’s causing something like this to happen at home. It could be that your parents are struggling with things right now and they need a bit of help and support. Whatever the reason, they should not be behaving this way and the situation needs to change.

Sometimes if you hear unkind things about yourself over and over again, you might start to wonder if they are true. It could help to tell yourself that you are choosing not to believe the mean things your parents are saying. Perhaps you could write down some good things about yourself, and read them after each time your mum or dad shout at you. There are some more ideas for building your confidence in Explore.

You’ve said that you don’t like to talk about it but you’ve done brilliantly to write things down. Perhaps you could choose an adult that you trust and write them a letter about what’s happening at home. This could be a relative, family friend or a teacher. You could give them a letter just like you have sent one to me. If you tell a teacher that your parents are being unkind then they might have to tell someone else in order to make sure that you are safe at home. If this is something you are worried about you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor about it.

It sounds like you might like to call one of our counsellors but you can’t use the phone at home. If you ask at school they might let you use the office phone to call ChildLine. It’s free to call us from any phone, even mobiles, so if you have any friends with a mobile phone they might let you use it. Our number is 0800 1111 and it won’t show up on their bill.

You’ve been very brave to write this letter and you’ve done the right thing.

Remember ChildLine is always here for you.

Take care


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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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