Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Family and grief

My dad died and I am really upset but I don't want to talk to my mum because I don't like getting her upset what should I do  ?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s really brave to reach out for support. Losing someone close to you, especially a parent, is one of the hardest things a person can go through and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. It’s natural to feel really upset and to want to talk. 

You might want to talk about the difficult feelings that you’re having. You might be feeling scared and confused and have questions to ask. Or, you might just want to talk about dad and memories that you have of him. 

It’s also natural to worry that talking about this with people who are also grieving might be upsetting for them. But your mum might feel the same way too. Perhaps mum wants to talk to you but is worried about upsetting you. 

It’s a really good idea for family to share their feelings about a loved one who has died. If you’re finding it really hard to say the words to mum, perhaps you could write what you want to say in a letter. And maybe you could arrange to write letters back and forth to each other about dad if this is easier than speaking face to face. 

If things are too difficult to talk to mum about (or even if you just want to talk) then there are always ChildLine counsellors there for you to share these feelings. It’s important is that you don’t keep these feelings bottled up. 

You might also want to share your feelings on the message board where young people share their experiences on bereavement.  

I hope this helps, and remember you don’t have to go through this alone.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

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