Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Don't know what to do

Hey Sam, I'm writing to you because I'm quite worried . My parents are always arguing and I always stick up for my mum and after I'm the one that gets in trouble. The next day they will start talking and my dad is like "u won't get any money and things like this" I had enough , he always drinks btw.
I'm 17 and I wanna move , do you think the council will help me ?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It seems like you are having a tough time at home at the moment, especially worrying about your parents arguing and then getting into trouble because you are sticking up for your mum.

Often people close to us don't realise the negative effect their behaviour can have on us. I’m wondering if your parents are aware of the way their behaviour is affecting you. You don’t mention how you get along with your parents when they are not arguing. Perhaps you could try speaking to them about it. If you don’t feel this is possible, another option would be to write them a letter explaining how you feel. You've said your dad drinks, so it might help to look at our parents and alcohol page to get some more ideas and advice about that. 

You say that you want to move out and ask me if the council will help. Only the council will be able to give you this information. You could look at the website for your local council so that you can get in touch with them and find out what help might be available to you.

Leaving home is a big decision to make and some people find that it helps just to have a break from their home situation for a few days - this is often possible by staying with a friend or relative. Maybe this is something that you could consider.

The legal situation is that from age 16 you can leave home without your parents’ permission and you may be able to get help with money, housing, education, training and support. It is important to understand that this may depend on other factors that you have not told me about and that every case is different. It is also very important to do some research before you make the decision to move. You can find out more by contacting the organisation Shelter on 0808 800 4444 or checking out their website.

If you would like to talk this through some more, you can always talk to a Childline counsellor. The counsellors are there to listen to you and support you.

You might also find it useful to have a look at our message boards where other young people post messages about their situations, including some similar to yours. 

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter