I really struggle with embracing my culture. I am a second generation immigrant to Māori parents from Aotearoa ("New Zealand"). I was brought up very British and never got raised in Māori culture. I have never been to Aotearoa, or even left the country. It makes me feel so sad because I am missing out on what should be my culture and homeland. I am writing this letter now because today my friend told me that next year she is going on a one-month holiday to Aotearoa. It made me so angry because she has no connection to the country. I am ashamed to say I got angry and told her she didn't deserve it. I should be happy for her, but it just makes me sad. I feel like whatever I do, I will never truly belong in my culture. It all feels so fake whenever I try to do something linked to Māori culture. I get huge imposter syndrome. I don't know if it will ever go away.
Sam
Hi there,
Everybody celebrates and connects with their culture differently. There are lots of ways to think about feeling more connected to your culture, even when you can’t travel.
Lots of young people struggle with their identity when they’ve grown up in a different country to their parents or grandparents. Sometimes it can leave you feeling uncertain whether you should try to fit in more with your family, people around you, or both.
It can help to remember that culture isn’t something you have to prove. It’s something you can learn about, connect with, and make your own at any time in your life. You don’t need to have been raised in a certain way or live in a certain place to start building that connection.
If you’d like to explore your Māori culture more, there are lots of ways to feel more connected. Talking to your family about your history and traditions can be a good way to start. You could also follow Māori creators on social media or read about different traditions. You could even take time to learn Māori. Making time to learn and embrace your heritage can help you to feel more connected to it.
Lots of young people can feel jealous or angry about other people being given opportunities we would hope for. When you notice those feelings, try to focus on what’s within your control.
Your culture is unique to you, and it’ll grow and change over time. What’s important is feeling comfortable with yourself.
Take care,
Sam
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