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To Sam

Asperges Syndrome Help Me :(

I have been dignosed with Autism/Asperges sydnrome a couple of months ago, and my family have been on and on and ON about it. Everyday they talk about it, bad stuff. Like go to docters and say 'Yes. Shes been dignosed' and theni hear on the phone "Yeaah that will be part of her autism.." and i just feel crap, i hate hearing it. I thought i was different my whole life, and ive been dignosed with something...its life has family think i am a diferent person since i got my dignosist, and im not, im still me. I cry a lot, and i get upset, my auntie came up to my room and said "Its nothing to be sad about" and then i hear her on the phone and making a big deal about it...:( I just want them to know i have it, and leave it at that. Cos i told mum last night it hurts my feelings and she said i know, but i cant stop what people say, can i...I feel i want to kill myself sometimes, not just because of that, im not having the greatest time at school either...But anyway, i cry a lot, i hate being socialble, i dont rly like eating, i feel very very sad all the time....and im not even gonna BOTHER telling mum cos she tells everyone, my family just dont know..
1: Can i PLEASE have some advice about the asperges syndrome bit..? and will i ALWAYS have asperges?
2: How i make myself happier (cos i feel soso depressed)  Thats not using other people just by myself....Thanks.
3: How do i go on like this anymore, i want to harm myself or kill myself...:(
Thank you so much, Ill be waiting for your reply..:)
By the way, i am a girl and i am 12 years old if that helps ahaaa..
Ask Sam


Hi There

Thanks very much for your letter. It sounds like you’ve been having a really tough time since you were diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers syndrome. It seems like both you and your family are trying to make sense of the diagnosis at the moment. You mention that your family are treating you differently since you got a diagnosis and that this is upsetting you. I’m really glad you’ve decided to write to me.

You asked me 3 specific questions so I’ll answer them now:

1. Autism can be quite a difficult thing to understand because it can affect people in lots of different ways. It would be good for you to get some information from a professional person like a doctor or psychologist. It might be worth asking your mum if you’ll be speaking to anyone professional about your Autism again. Perhaps you could write down all the questions you have about Autism and ask mum to help you with them. There are some good books about Autism/Asperger’s – you might be able to get some from your neareast library. The National Autistic Society has a list of books about Autism/Asperger’s, and lots of other useful information for young people. The Young Minds website is another good place to look for information about Autism/Asperger’s. You might also want to watch the interview with James Hobley in the Explore section. He talks about what it’s like having Autism. You asked whether you’ll always have Asperger’s syndrome. Yes, you will, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t go on to live a happy and fulfilled life. Like you said, you’re the same person that you were before the diagnosis, but now you should find it easier to get some support for the things you were finding difficult.

2. You’ve told me how sad you feel all the time. That’s something you really deserve support with. It sounds like everything that’s happening at home and at school is starting to build up inside you. I can also hear that it feels like your family aren’t listening right now. You did really well to tell your mum how your family’s comments make you feel. I imagine it was frustrating when she said that she can’t stop them. I know you said you want to get happier by yourself, but I honestly think the best way to stop sad feelings is to talk about them. If you want to start by talking to a ChildLine counsellor, you can phone them on 0800 11 11 or log into the website for a 1-2-1 chat. You might also want to look at the information about Depression and feeling sad in the Explore pages.

3. I’m worried to hear you say that sometimes you feel that you want to harm or kill yourself. It would be really good if you could talk to a ChildLine counsellor about your thoughts about killing or harming yourself. You can call the counsellors anytime, and they will want to help keep you safe. Killing yourself is a very final thing to do, and it would mean you’d never get a chance to enjoy things getting better. This is a time of change, and I can see you feel very low at the moment. It doesn’t mean your life will always be like this.

Take care of yourself, and thanks so much for writing.


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