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Asker

To Sam

Angry Parents

my parents often fight really loudly, but they have never split up or anything. they can get really angry but not just with each other. me and my brother get hit a lot of the time. but we both have lots of things like blackberrys, macs and ipods. so most of the time its really nice but when they get angry it really bad and they can hit really hard. usually it is my dad who hurts me, but when i call out for my mum she doesnt do anything. i have often thought of running away, i just wouldnt know where to go. please help me :)
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Sam

Hello,

Thank you for your letter. You’ve done the right thing to write in and talk about what’s happening at home.

You’ve told me your parents often fight really loudly and get really angry. I imagine that could be very frightening to hear. It’s never right for your parents to take their anger out on you or your brother by hitting you. No-one ever has the right to hit you. Home should feel like a safe place to be and your parents should be there to protect you not to hurt you. You might want to have a look at the Explore pages about Family Relationships and Abuse and Safety.

You’ve told me it is usually your dad that hurts you and it sounds very scary when he gets angry. What you’ve described to me is physical abuse and it shouldn’t be happening. It sounds very hurtful that you mum doesn’t do anything when you call out to her. It’s not right that mum doesn’t do anything to help keep you safe. Remember, if you ever felt in any immediate danger then you can call 999 for police help.

I can hear that you and your brother have lots of nice things, but this is never an excuse for the bad times. You need more from your parents than expensive presents. It’s your right to feel cared for and protected. Your parents need to look after your feelings, as well as making sure you have the physical things that you need. I can hear that this isn’t something your parents always do.

From what you’ve said in your letter, I get the impression that running away might seem like a way of escaping the situation. I’d be very worried about your safety if you did this as running away is really dangerous. You shouldn’t have to cope with feeling scared and unsafe at home and there are people out there who will want to help you. How would you feel about speaking to an adult that you trust, like a teacher at school, or a family member? You could also think about speaking to social services, who are there to help make sure young people are safe and well looked after.

You are also very welcome to get in contact with a ChildLine counsellor, if you want to talk through what support and options are available. ChildLine is a safe space for you to talk and you can get in contact by calling 0800 1111 (free from any phone), logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by email.

Take care,

Sam

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