Ask Sam letter


To Sam

about what i should do

I haven't saw my dad for ages because he hasn't been around he's been in prison and i haven't saw him since i was 4 i speak to him on email i don't know weather to see him or not
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter.

Deciding whether to have visits with a parent you no longer live with and haven't seen for a long time can be a big decision. Visits with parents should be for your benefit. A visit should not take place just because it's what the adults want.

In this case because your dad has also been in prison you may have a lot of unanswered questions or difficult emotions. Your whole family may have been affected by having a parent in prison. Your dad may also have done a lot of thinking in prison and may have things that he would like to say to you.

When deciding if you would like to see your dad or not you should think about how it would make you feel to see him and whether you would like your dad to be part of your life in the future or not. It is important for you to remember that it is not your fault that your dad has not been around or that he has been in prison.

Choosing whether you see your dad should be up to you. Perhaps you may want to try a phone call first and see what that is like for you. Or you may want to have someone else with you when you see your dad for the first time so that you feel safe.

If you would like some support to help you decide what to do, you could try talking to another person that you trust. Remember that you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. They are here for you too.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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