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Hello,
Thanks for your letter and telling me about the tough dilemma youre struggling with.
Youre in a very tough spot, wondering if you should tell your dad or protect your brother from how your dad might react if he knew. Its so hard when you feel caught between two people you love, and to also feel like your family is threatened with being split up.
Its clear the lie this girl told really affected all of you. I know it can be hard to understand why anyone would pretend to be really ill, but it happens sometimes and the reasons can be quite complicated. Although theres no way for me to know, perhaps your brother has talked to her about it and feels differently about it now.
All of this leads me to think maybe talking to your brother might be a really good starting point. If your brother doesnt want to break up with her youd be giving him a chance to explain why.
It seems clear that you feel uncomfortable being put in a position where you have to keep a secret from your dad. If your brother doesn't want you to tell your dad that the relationship is still going on, talking to your brother will also give you a chance to let him know how you feel.
If you think it would be too hard to talk face to face with your brother about this, one idea is to think about writing him a note or message about how you feel.
Perhaps you can look at this as your brothers dilemma too, rather than just your dilemma. You brother has the right to make some life decisions and it also means those decisions are his responsibility. Encouraging him to talk to your dad about it himself might lessen the worry youre feeling. It also might give your dad a chance to rethink things if your brother has something more to tell him about this relationship.
You could also have a look at our pages on Friendship and Family relationships. If you want to talk more about this, you can contact a ChildLine counsellor by phone on 0800 1111, log on for an online chat or send an email. Well do our best to listen and support you, whenever you want.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.