Ask Sam letter


To Sam


My boyfriend tries to force me to do things i don't want to do, he forces me to kiss him when i dont want to, he always has to touch me and he wont let me have freedom. He's always around me and i can never escape his grasp. He gets really jealous when i talk to my friends and then me and him end up arguing. He's really clingy and possessive but i dont know how to tell him incase he flips and yells at me.

What do i do?

Ask Sam



Stopping someone from doing things or seeing other people is a type of emotional abuse. It’s not okay for anyone, including a boyfriend or girlfriend, to touch you or make you touch them if you don’t want to. Being forced to kiss someone when you don’t want to is a form of sexual abuse and it is never justified.

You should be able to talk to your friends without feeling worried about your boyfriend’s reaction. This is Abuse is a website with more information and relationship advice for young people. It might also help to look at our Relationship abuse page.

You are not responsible for your boyfriend’s behaviour. In a healthy relationship, people should trust each other. It might be helpful to think about what advice you would give a friend if it they told you they were being treated like this in a relationship.

I can hear that you’re not sure what to do next and you are feeling trapped. You might find it useful to have a look at this page on The Hideout as they have some information about what kind of options you might want to take.

It’s really good that you are talking about this and thinking about what to do. You do not have to put up with being treated like this and you don’t have to go through this on your own. 

You can talk anonymously to other young people about this on the relationships message board and you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. A ChildLine counsellor won’t tell you exactly what to do, but they can help you think about different choices you might have and can be there to just listen and support you with your feelings too.

I hope this has helped you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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