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To Sam

What should I do?

Hi Sam, I'm 14 Years old & Recently got back together with my ex boyfriend. We've been having an on and off relationship for about a year now. (Yeah,Its really bad) But theres something about him which i love about him. The other day I was on a double date with my bestfriend and her boyfriend. My boyfriend got a sexual attraction to me and it got to a point where we started touching each other underneath our clothes, I have to admit i was sexually aroused . Did I go a bit two far considering I'm only a 14 year old girl and hes 13?

But he broke up with me two days later saying that we should break up because it would ruin our friendship. But I'm concerned over the fact that he recently had been very cose with a best friend of his. Who is bisexual. Ages ago they had fallen out and he cried to me about him saying that he loved him. Then he talks to me like it never happened. I wanna ask him if hes ever thought of being bisexual but I've known him for 3 years and I know he's going to react funny to it.His Bisexual friend has also told me that my ex has been very flirty with him and he strokes his head when he's upset. Should I be concerned because i think that my ex fancies his own bestfriend? :/

These two problems have been getting to me for a while. Any help towards these would be much appreciated.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

When you're going through puberty and your body is changing it's natural to have different kinds of sexual feelings and thoughts. It can be a worrying and confusing time and it can be difficult to know what feelings to act on. You might find that you have lots of questions about your feelings and thoughts and it’s a good idea to talk these through with someone and have a good think before acting on them.

It’s also good to talk things through with the person you want to do sexual things with so that you both know how the other is feeling and what you feel comfortable with.

You wondered whether you had gone too far when you and your ex-boyfriend started touching each other underneath your clothes considering you are 14 years old and your boyfriend is 13 years old. It’s against the law to have any form of sexual activity with anyone under the age of 16 years old, regardless of your sexual orientation (whether you are straight, gay or bisexual).

This law is there to protect young people and to help keep you safe and there is no intention for the police to get you into trouble if you both agree and are of a similar age. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with what you are doing and that you aren’t pressured or forced into doing anything that you don’t want to do. Consent is important and that means that you both agree to and understand what you are getting involved in.

Coming out as gay or bisexual can be a very frightening thing for someone to do.  It can take people a long time to work out who they fancy and if they are ready to tell anyone about it.  If you are wondering whether your friend might be gay or bisexual it’s important not to put pressure on them or rush them into saying something they aren’t ready to. The best thing to do is to be a good friend to them and let them know that you are there to listen and support them if they want to talk about anything. 

It can be hard supporting friends going through a difficult time so remember to get support for yourself too. You can talk through any feelings with a counsellor confidentiality whenever you need to.

Take care,

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