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Hi there,
Thanks for writing to me. I got the sense from your letter that youve been thinking over what happened a lot. You said how this man at your placement wasnt flirting and didnt do anything sexual but that he did make you feel uncomfortable.
Being touched and touching other people is something that each individual can have really different feelings about. How comfortable someone feels about it can change both because of the situation and on who the other person is.
At your placement, when you go to work or even in school how you feel about being touched is what is important. If you ever feel that someone touching you is making you uncomfortable then its okay to ask them to stop.
Im really glad that you had the courage to write to me about this. I can see how much youve doubted yourself because you were nervous and because he was quite attractive. When youre unsure about what someone else was thinking it can sometimes leave you worrying about whether you should say anything.
You are never doing anything wrong by wanting to say that you felt uncomfortable with someone. It doesnt always mean that the person has done anything wrong but it can be good to help them be more considerate of the people who are around them.
Theres no right or wrong when it comes to deciding what you would like to do after reading this. Im really glad that youre out of the placement now, even when something is in the past you are allowed to talk about it.
Talking to an adult you trust about this can help you to feel like its not being left unsaid and it can even help this person to understand that it isnt always appropriate to enter peoples personal space. Theres a really good page about asking an adult for help which gives advice on how best to do it.
No matter what you decide, ChildLine counsellors are always here to support you. They can give you a safe space to talk about how youre feeling and help you to think about what you would like to happen next. You can talk to them online using our 1-2-1 chat service, by emailing or calling free on 0800 1111.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.