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To Sam

Video of Me Without Hijab | Ask Sam

Hi. I recently got hit by a car (broke a bone, but otherwise doing fine). I was mucking about then stumbled in front of a car. My friends were filming us together when it happened (not because she knew it was going to happen, but we were joking around, which is why I wasn't paying attention), the camera wasn't on me when I got hit, but it moves to face me for a second or two afterwards when I get up.

They were really good and supportive when it happened and the friend who was filming immediately stopped when she realised. The problem is that my hijab came off when it happened. It was the least of my worries at the time, but now I realise my friend has a video of it. She said it was funny before I got hit by a car and, because of that, she doesn’t want to delete it.

Because it was a genuine accident, the footage isn’t needed for any legal reasons, and the police took the driver's information already. She said she isn't going to share it, and because she's my friend, I should trust her. I don't know if I do, because she won't delete it when I asked her to. I don't know what to do. I was thinking I should tell her mum, because I know she would take me seriously, but I'm worried my friend might feel betrayed. I don't want to break friends with her, but I have to stand up for myself. I wonder if I'm being dramatic. Like my friend pointed out, some people are unlucky enough to have their nudes shared around, this isn’t as serious as that.

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Sam

Hi there,

Wearing religious clothing like a hijab can be deeply personal and closely tied to religious beliefs. It’s not okay for someone to film you without your hijab when you’ve not agreed to it, and it’s natural you’d feel upset when someone has a video of it.

Trust and respect are important qualities to have in friendships. It’s good that you don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings, but you also deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

People can practice their faith in different ways, your friend may not understand the significance of wearing a hijab and what it can mean or feel if you’re seen without it. It can help to explain to your friend the importance of your hijab and how the video impacts you. If you feel comfortable, a compromise could be for your friend to edit the video to take out any images of you without your hijab.

Talking to an adult you trust to get support is always okay, especially when something is hurting or upsetting you. Speaking to your friend’s mum might feel scary, but it can help to think about how you would feel if you didn’t get support. When you’re worried about your friends reaction, it can help to think about telling her that you’re going to speak to her mum so she’s not surprised by it.

You should never have to deal with things alone. Remember that Childline is always here to support you.

Take care,

Sam

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