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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hello,
Thank you for your letter.
I can hear that youre very worried about your friend and Im really glad that you decided to write to me. It does sound scary that shes being threatened. Its understandable that youre frightened and want to be able to help her.
Its wrong for anyone to pressure another person to have sex when they dont want to - this is a form of sexual abuse. No-one has the right to make anyone do something sexual that they dont want.
When someone is threatening to hurt us if we dont do what they say, it can feel like we have no choice. But there are always choices, no matter what someone says. And even if youve said yes to what they asked at first, its OK to change your mind.
Sometimes things can be too big to sort out on our own. It feels very important for you to tell an adult about whats happening so you can get help to protect your friend. Perhaps theres a family member or a teacher at school that you could both talk to?
I can hear that your friend has said she doesnt want to talk to the police. It may be that shes very scared about what will happen if she did tell someone. Threatening and pressuring someone until they feel scared is against the law, so the police should take the situation very seriously. It would be their job to keep your friend safe from this man. Victim Support are a charity that support people affected by crime. Your friend could talk to them in confidence about what might happen if she goes to the police.
I imagine that its a great reassurance to your friend that youre there for her and she can talk to you. Its important that you have the space to talk about what this is like for you too. When were worried about a friend it can make us feel sad and frightened. I wonder what it would be like for you to talk to a ChildLine counsellor directly. Maybe you could encourage your friend to chat to them too?
There are different ways to talk to a counsellor at ChildLine. You can log on to have a 1-2-1 chat (which works like instant messenger), you can ring 0800 1111 for free, or you can send an email.
Take care
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.