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To Sam

She keeps threatening me with suicide

I am a lesbian and I have been with my girlfriend for over a year. Im not happy at all and I want to break up with her but every time I do she threatens me with suicide and it scares me so much and now I'm constantly worrying that she's going to kill herself, I can't even sleep at night because I'm worrying and I'm failing my a levels because of it, Ive asked her to stop doing it but she never does, she always makes comments like "you will never hear from me again" just to make me think the worst so I always go running back to her, I don't know what to do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I am glad you’ve got in touch I can hear how upsetting things are for you with your girlfriend.

You’ve done really well to tell me how you’re feeling and it sounds like your girlfriend is leaving you feeling really unhappy and worried, and you feel trapped. From what you’ve said it sounds like your girl friend has put a lot of responsibility on you for keeping herself safe and it seems a bit unfair. It can be difficult when someone when we feel scared by the things someone we care about says and concerned about what they might do.

It can be really difficult supporting people on your own when those people have really big feelings like those of suicide. If you are worried that your girlfriend may end her life it’s really important to tell someone in your life that could help to keep her safe.

Relationships are different each time but it’s really important that every relationship is fair to both the people in it and that both people are happy. From what you’ve said to me it sounds like your girlfriend might know how she is talking affects you and that she is using that to control you and that’s not right.

It is important to get support as this is something that is really upsetting you and also affecting your A levels. The Site is a really good website with lots of information on; it has pages on relationships and coping with difficult or controlling partners. There is also information on the ChildLine website and ChildLine message boards.

If you still unsure of what you feel is the best way forward that’s ok. If you want to talk things over with someone you could talk to a ChildLine counsellor, they’d like to support you and with them you might be able to work out what you feel is best way forwards.

If you did want to talk to a ChildLine counsellor you can get in touch with one through the talk section of the ChildLine website by sending an email or having a 1-2-1 chat, or by calling 0800 1111 free and without it showing up on any bills.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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