Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Sexual harrasment

Hi Sam, i'm 17 years old and have a friend that is a boy and he keeps making innappropriate unwanted sexual comments towards or about me.
He is a few months younger than me but he is making me feel uncomfortbale and awkward. It's making me not want to go anywhere alone with him, I always ask someone else to come along for example if we're going to the cinema but I don't want to have to be in this situation, if  he is my friend why is he doing this and what should I do?
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

It’s not okay for anyone to make inappropriate or unwanted sexual comments towards you or about you. This is sexual harassment, which is a type of sexual abuse

It’s important that your friend understands the boundaries of your friendship and that the way he is behaving is not okay. One way that you can make this clear is by saying “no” to any comments he makes and to explain to him that you don’t like what he is doing. It might also be good to keep a record of when and where he is making the comments and if he makes them to other people to include those too if you are able to. This means that if you decide to report it to an adult you trust such as a family member or teacher, you will have all the information you need to pass on.

You said that the comments he makes are making you feel uncomfortable and awkward and I’m wondering if anyone else knows about this and the reason why you are feeling this way. It could be that there is someone supporting you but if you would like to talk things through more, you could contact a ChildLine Counsellor who would be able to help you explore your feelings more and work out what to do next.

You could also check out the message boards on the ChildLine website to see how other people are coping in a similar situation.

Take care,
Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter