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Asker

To Sam

Sexting


my ex boyfriend wanted naked pictures, at first Is aid no, but he said he would dump me if i didn't, so in the end i did, a few weeks later we broke up and now a year or so later he has sent the pictures to all my friends and they're all telling me to kill myself and i should because I'm dirty and disgusting but i don't want mu family to find out what i've done
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for your letter and well done for contacting me. I can hear what’s happened must be really upsetting. The way your ex-boyfriend has been treating you is really unkind and nobody should put pressure on you to do anything that you don’t want to.

I’m concerned to hear that people have been telling you to kill yourself and you’re feeling like you should because of the really hurtful things that they’re saying. It’s not okay for anyone to bully you in this way or for your ex to be sending these pictures to people, in fact what he is doing is against the law.

I can hear that you regret having sent these pictures but everyone makes mistakes. You’re certainly not the first person to do something like this. I’m also sure at the time you didn't think he would send the pictures to other people. If it ever happens again you might want to use ChildLine’s sexting app – ZipIt.

There are things that can be done to help change the situation, but this may mean talking to others about it to get some more support. I understand that might be scary or worrying to think about but ChildLine is here to support you. It's up to you if or when you decide to do any of these things.

You say that these pictures are being sent to your friends. If these are people at your school, then the school can take steps to get this to stop. This might even be by taking people’s phones off them or getting the images to be deleted. Your school also has a responsibility to try to tackle bullying if they know it's happening. You could have a think about whether there is a teacher that you feel comfortable talking to.

You say that your friends have been saying to you that you should kill yourself. It certainly doesn’t sound like they’re being good friends at the moment. It could be good for you to find people who like you for who you are that you can spend time with. Finding new friends isn’t always easy but in some ways it might be better for you.

There's always someone for you to talk to at ChildLine about what’s been happening and how low it’s leaving you feeling. A ChildLine counsellor could also talk through with you the possible pros and cons of your different options to see if that helps you work out what you’d like to do next.

You can call on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and don’t show up on the bill) or have a 1-2-1 chat. ChildLine also won’t tell anyone about what you share with us, unless we felt that someone’s life was in immediate danger or you wanted us to. You can take a look at our confidentiality promise.

You may also like to take a look at our sexting, bullying and suicidal thoughts pages to give you some more information and ideas.

You’ve taken a brave step in writing this letter and we are here for you whatever you do next.

Take care,

Sam

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