Ask Sam letter


To Sam


My & my boyfriend have been going out for 4 months he wants sex & I kind of do too. I'm 15.

We have been on webcam stripping sometimes, what should I do? I want to dump him but on the other hand want to stay with him is there anyway he can stop being sexual?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m really glad you decided to get some advice as it sounds like you feel a bit conflicted at the moment.

From what you’ve shared it sounds like you want to stay with your boyfriend but you’re not sure if you are ready for a sexual relationship. I want you to know that it’s okay to wait as long as it takes until you’re sure you are ready, even if your boyfriend feels like he is ready now. Even though you and your boyfriend have already been stripping on webcam if you no longer want to do this it is okay to say no at anytime. It is your body so you have a right to say no to anything you are not comfortable with. Your boyfriend should not try to make you feel guilty about saying no.

Having sex with someone is a big step to take, as it is likely to change the way you see them. So if you are thinking about having sex it would be really good for you both to talk about your expectations and feelings, and about contraception and sexual health. For more information have a look at the information about Sex and relationships in Explore.

It sounds like the situation is causing you to think about splitting up with your boyfriend. Decisions about relationships can be really tricky. It might be worth writing down what you are looking for in a relationship, and see if that helps you decide if you’re getting what you want from your boyfriend. If he can’t be with you without asking for sex, it might be that he isn’t the kind of boyfriend you want at the moment.

It also might help you to talk through your feelings with a ChildLine counsellor in a phone call or on 1-2-1 chat, or to have a look at the message boards and see what other young people are saying about sex and relationships.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter