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Pressured into different things ...

Hey,

so this is awkward... However, me and my boyfriend have been in a sexual relationship for quite a while now, however lately he tends to want sex nearly EVERYDAY! If I tell him no he goes off in a mood, and doesn't speak to me... Until the point where I give in and just give him sex... Lately though... When this has happened he knows I'm not comfortable with it but he pressured me into oral... I really didnt like it... Is there anything i can do... I know its my fault for giving into him but I dont want to loose him... I love him but I don't know what to do... Please help me... 😭

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Sam

Hi there,

It’s difficult when a relationship is important to you and you’re worried about losing someone. It sounds like it’s difficult to say no when he wants to have sex, even when you don’t want it to happen.

Sometimes it can be difficult to see what is and isn’t an abusive relationship. Abuse can be emotional and verbal as well as physical. It's important to be comfortable in your relationship and feel confident enough to talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling. 

You said that it’s your fault for giving in to your boyfriend but it’s not ok for anyone to pressure you to do things that you don’t want to do – it doesn’t matter who they are.

Relationships can be confusing but you have the right to feel safe and to be treated with care and respect. This includes being listened to and not left feeling intimidated, controlled or like your feelings and wishes are ignored.

It sounds difficult letting your boyfriend know how you’re really feeling and how you’d like to be treated. You don’t have to cope with all of this on your own.

Childline counsellors are here to support you whenever you need them. Talking about how you feel about your relationship with your boyfriend and how you would like things to be could help you to work out what you’d like to happen next.

Take care,

Sam

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