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To Sam

My girlfriend asked me about some close 'interactions'

Last night, my girlfriend and I were talking, playing games, and overall just laughing and having fun. We are both 14 and she was talking about maybe cuddling and over a little time maybe some oral.. we have been togeather about 2 years now and were both free of any disease. I was thinking about it and I asked if its legal since were both 14... we were thinking maybe it would work kinda like being 'curious'.. we decided to look for help online to see if we can or cant. Neither one of us want to get in trouble but we both love eachother, alot.. and were confused of whats ok and whats not.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

You’ve brought up a question that a lot of young people ask and it’s really good to talk about these things honestly.

In answer to your question, the law in the UK states that it is illegal to have sex or oral sex if you're under 16. You might find it helpful to read our page about your rights.

This law is there to protect young people, not punish them. It doesn't always mean teenagers get into trouble for having sex. It's normal for people under 16 to have sex if they both agree to. The main thing is both of you feeling comfortable with whatever you decide.

It's normal to have these feelings for someone you care about. I can hear that you love each other a lot and it sounds as if you have a really good relationship. It’s great that you’ve been able to talk to each other about these things first, so well done for doing that. It is so important to talk about sex and the decisions you want to make as a couple. At the end of the day, it is your decision to make – both of you. You need to decide for yourselves what’s okay and what’s not okay for you.

It could help to ask other young people on the message boards about what they would do. You could ask if they decided to wait until 16 and how they coped with doing that.

It’s good to consider safety involved with sex and oral sex. Check out our contraception page or the Brook website for more on safe sex.

If you or your girlfriend ever wanted to chat about this more you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor about anything.

Hope this helps.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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