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My friend's life is all lies!

Dear Sam,
I have a friend at school, because I can't tell you her name I'm gonna call her 'Mask'. Mask always seemed like a happy and loving person. But one day Mask told me that her step dad got drunk each night and scared her.
I am willing to believe this because I met him slightly tipsy and her, her mum and sister moved away from him about half a year ago.
But ever since, Mask has been trying to convince us that she is the worst sufferer and treats us like guests to her little pity parties. I have really bad home problems as well, but she sometimes tries to make me feel guilty for having them.
Sometimes she is really supportive, but on a bad day, which is most days, she is really unfair. I always listen to her, but she never listens to me!
I told Mask that I might be a witness at a court case because I was sexually harassed by a man. She was really supportive at the time, but then a week or so later she told me this story where she was a guides and these pidofiles tried to kidnap her during a disco and how traumatic it was. I asked another girl who goes to guides about it and she confirmed it never happened, though there was a disco.
I was really hurt. I have always wondered. She is a huge exagerater and really fake sometimes. I am not sure what to do. She started telling me about how her step dad used to beat her, but I am worried about what is true and what is not!
Please help me and Mask!
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for explaining how much is going on for you at the moment. It sounds like you feel your friend isn’t very supportive to you and your needs. Friendship is a relationship that should be equal and based on trust. A friend should be there to support you through the good times and the bad.

I know that you want to know if your friend is telling the truth or not but the only person that can tell you this is your friend. Maybe you could talk to your friend about how you are feeling. You could explain to her that you feel that she is not always telling the truth. Being honest about your feelings might help her to be honest with her own feelings. 

From what you have said it seems like you are a really good friend to her but there is a limit to how much a friend can help someone. It sounds like she might need some adult support. One way of helping would be to encourage her to talk to adults around her who she trusts. She might also want to speak to a teacher who might be able to help get her the support she needs.

You have said that you have problems at home and also you might have to be a witness because of what happened when you were sexually harassed. It sounds like there’s been a lot going on for you as well. It might be that you need to take some time to think about the support you need for everything and how you are feeling. If “Mask” doesn’t support you, think about other friends or adults who you can trust.

If you wanted to talk things through with a ChildLine counsellor you can do that on a 1-2-1 chat, by calling for free on 0800 1111 or by sending an email. The counsellors do not judge people - they are there to listen to you. It also might be worth having a look at our page about friends as it talks about both problems with friendships and advice about helping a friend who is having problems.

Take care,


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